Kitchen Witchery

By: Emma Peel

What’s a kitchen witch?

By now we’ve all seen some pretty hilarious kitchen witch dolls. You may even have one hanging in your kitchen. While this is probably the first thing that spring to mind when most people hear the term kitchen witch, I’d like to lodge a formal complaint: I am a kitchen witch, the genuine, authentic, 100% real deal. I am certainly not , constructed of a bit of pantyhose, fabric scraps and mono-filament wire!

I work magic in the manner that was taught to me while tugging on my Nana’s apron strings. I work with herbs and produce, with sea salt and olive oil. I visualize magical workings and then realize wonderful food. My favorite cauldron is the trusty cast iron skillet my mother gave to me. I suspect that this branch of magic appeals to me be because it is so tangible. I feel the earth vibrating in my hands as I prepare vegetables, I am immersed in the power of air as the scent of spices fill my nostrils, fire is at my command as I pan sear a bit of fish and water speaks to me, bubbling away in the pasta pot. What matters to a kitchen witch is the power of intention.

Yummy food is a happy by product.

Since this is my first column, I want to share with you a couple of my favorite recipes. One is for a yummy summery dish and the other is a recipe, of sorts, for creating a witch’s bottle to keep your kitchen safe.

Summer Pudding

• 2 lbs assorted summer berries
• 2 lbs sugar
• 10 slices stale bread, crusts removed
• Whipped crème

Clean berries as appropriate, remove stems and/or tops. Place in a bowl and cover with sugar. Mix gently and sit aside for one hour.

Line a greased bowl with 7-8 slices of the bread. Try to arrange them so there are no cracks. Add the berries and juices. Cover with remaining slices of bread. Place a plate inside the bowl and weight it down with a can of soup (or something similar). You may want to put a plate under the bowl to catch any drips. Refrigerate for at least 8 hours. To serve, turn out of the bowl onto a serving platter and serve with whipped crème.

Kitchen Witches Protection Bottle
(To ward off kitchen catastrophes)

• 1 small glass bottle with a stopper
• 3 stick pins
• 3 needles
• 3 small nails
• 1 clove of garlic, peeled
• 1 sprig dried thyme
• Sea salt
• 1 red candle

Place inside the bottle: 3 pins, 3 needles, and 3 nails add a peeled clove of garlic (or grind if no room) add some dried thyme. Finish by filling up with sea salt. Visualize your kitchen happy & safe. Place on the lid and seal with red wax from the candle.

Turn the jar over 9 times and say “bless my kitchen and protect all that I do here”. Place it some where safe in your kitchen- perhaps in the back of a cupboard.

P.S.
Next time you happen across one of those kitchen witches with a bit of pantyhose for a head flying round a kitchen on the end of a bit of mono-filament, give that old bat a whack for me? Those horrid things have GOT to go.