By: Chardonnay Perrignon
A dark evil wizard tried to burn down the leaky but was foiled by the sheer willpower of the unamused. Amazing!
Fashion at Hogwarts has been stifled by a decree from the headmistress reaffirming the traditional and old-fashioned standards of dress, especially for the young ladies. It is the young men at the school that seem to be disappointed by the enforcements of the new standards of decorum, unsurprisingly.
There are many rumors circulating about a newly hatched nest of dragons somewhere in the vicinity of the castle. Will these pose a threat when they grow up? Do they even exist?
A Phoenix has been seen pecking around the square again. She rather likes peanuts, so make sure that you have one on hand if you want to coax her into letting you pet her. She also seems to rather like a certain Hufflepuff with the initials”C.” Perhaps that is because he is nutters too.
Ladies, you REALLY want to think twice before accepting the “Enchated Martini” from the depraved bar wench in the Trolls Head. Men, you may want to consult a healer if the enchantment doesn’t wear off after 4-6 hours.
There are two pairs of twins in Ravenclaw now! The girls are charming but one of them seems to have a rather foul mouth when jealous or provoked. The boys are rather touchy and flamboyant Americans — but with an impeccable pureblood background.
Several new ghosts have been seen moaning about the castle. it’s good to see that they feel comfortable coming back to their old haunting habits… say hello if you see, erm, don’t see them!
Please, if you see Auror Cortes, don’t refer to him as “Captain America” to his face. The gentleman is very powerful within the Ministry of magic and has a vast arsenal of weapons which he can use for retribution against those who offend and — trust me — you don’t want *that*!
The shop windows in Wizards Alley are NOT an appropriate place to go snogging. Even if you think you are Paris’ gift to women, Hogwarts, and the world.
Otherwise, dearies, it’s been strangely quiet. I’m not sure if this is the dark before the dawn, the calm before the storm, or something even stranger?
Dear Chardonnay Perrignon,
I am writing to you on the behalf of the “dragons”. It is an extremely popualar rumor that there happen to be dargon eggs newly hatching in a prohibited part of the school. I am not sure that there actualy are but wouldn’t be suprised. Hagrid has been called into questioning and accused by many Slytherin students that he has put them there for safe keeping. Also, I believe to have seen the Phoenix hovering around the grounds,I am not sure which fellow Hufflepuff housemate it is attarcted to, but if I ever see anything I shall let you know if he is willing to be identified.